Fanfiction Poop: Caillou and the Vampire Strikes!
by WileE2005
Summary: Based on a funny YouTube Poop I once made; the Scooby-Doo gang is out to stop a vampire from terrorizing the Hex Girls and Caillou's family, but Caillou is more afraid of the awful thunderstorm brewing outside...


**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Caillou or Scooby-Doo or any other related characters (Caillou is owned by PBS Kids/Cookie Jar, and Scooby-Doo by Warner Bros.), and this is simply an adaptation of my YouTube Poop "Caillou and the Vampire Strikes Back," made on my YouTube account Wileyk209zback (which has since been removed due to copyright issues with the Caillou videos).

**CAILLOU AND THE VAMPIRE STRIKES BACK**

On a dark and stormy night, somewhere in Transylvania, a torrential downpour was occurring near an old castle that was labeled "Fortescu," as lightning flashed a couple of times as thunder cracked, but the thunder sounded rather muffled and tinny, as if it were recorded off one of Thomas Edison's wax cylinders, but it was still enough to scare Dr. Dawson of Disney's "The Great Mouse Detective," whom just happened to be standing there. Suddenly the thunder got louder and more realistic, and inside the old Transylvanian castle, Caillou and his family were spending the night there. Caillou was a rather annoying young bald boy who was often fearful. In the room Caillou was sleeping in, his skinny gray cat Gilbert woke up and yowled in fright from the loud thunder, and Caillou woke up and screamed as well, and hid under his covers as a narrator lady coming from out of nowhere began speaking…

NARRATOR: Caillou was frightened. He never heard such a loud noise coming from outside before.

CAILLOU: Gilbert? (peeks under the bed) THERE you are.

Caillou then got out of bed, wearing his blue pajamas, and peeked out the window at the storm. He gasped softly, then lightning flashed again as Caillou yelped, and he could've sworn he saw a menacing-looking vampire in the window, with old-fashioned clothes, a pale gray face and blue hair. Caillou then hid under the bed with Gilbert…

CAILLOU: I-it's okay, Gilbert… it's just a bad storm…

Now, Caillou was not the only one afraid of the thunderstorm. A distance away, the famous Mystery Inc. gang was driving toward the castle in their Mystery Machine to investigate a mystery there for the rock group the Hex Girls and Caillou's family. Fred Jones, the dimwitted leader of the group, was driving, wearing a white shirt with a blue stripe in the center and without his trademark ascot. His girlfriend Daphne Blake was next to her, as was Velma Dinkley, the brains of the group, wearing her black-framed eyeglasses and her hair ruffled a bit than usual. In the back, the young cowardly beatnik-hippie Shaggy Rogers and his lovable pet Great Dane, Scooby-Doo, were startled by a short burst of thunder and began clutching each other in fear as their teeth were chattering in the vein of the old Looney Tunes cartoon characters.

SHAGGY: Yeah, Fred. Remind me to thank them…

Then back at the castle, Caillou was then in the bathroom for some reason, washing his hands with the sink full of suds. The bathroom looked unusually clean and modern for such an old castle. The lights briefly flickered as more thunder rolled outside…

CAILLOU: Hey!

Then the lights completely went out, only leaving Caillou in total blackness. All that could be seen were his eyes among the dark.

CAILLOU: Daddy?

Outside the castle, in the Mystery Machine, everyone was shocked for some reason, with Scooby's teeth chattering in the same Looney Tunes-style as he and Shaggy were earlier. In addition, somewhere else inside the castle, a large gray rat was shivering, making the exact same teeth chattering noise Scooby was, as some large mustached redneck sheriff with a voice similar to Yosemite Sam spoke to him…

SHERIFF: Not you! Get out of here!

The rat got the hint and ran back into the hole. Now Caillou was hiding in the closet in the room he was sleeping in. Meanwhile, in another room, his parents were sound asleep…

CAILLOU: Daddy… Daddy? … DADDY! 

On that third "DADDY!" lightning flashed with several loud bangs of thunder as the vampire reappeared in a window. Caillou's dad was aware of the danger, and jumped right out of bed into his girly-looking red slippers to come to Caillou's rescue…

CAILLOU'S DAD: I'm coming! I'm coming! (enters Caillou's room) Caillou! Caillou? Where are you?

Caillou's dad had noticed that a bat was now flying around in the castle, and wondered if it had something to do with Caillou's disappearance. In the next room over, the Hex Girls also noticed the bat and pointed it out to Fred, Daphne and Velma…

LUNA: …and this bat showed up. (the bat flies out of the room)

Now everyone in the castle was aware of the vampire, and not just the Hex Girls, but also the Mystery Inc. team and Caillou's family. The vampire snarled, and a typical Scooby-Doo chase ensued. Caillou's dad did not take part in it, as he was still searching for his son in the room he was sleeping in. In another part of the castle, as twangy keyboard and rockabilly guitar music was playing, the very same style of music William Lava composed on the later Looney Tunes cartoons distributed by Warner Bros.-Seven Arts, the vampire skidded to a stop in front of a door, and opened it to find two rubbery-looking monsters, one tall and green and with a vulture-like beak, the other a bit smaller and gray and with an elephant trunk. The vampire closed the door, then got wise and opened it to reveal Shaggy and Scooby-Doo inside, now stripped from their monster suits. They zipped off in a flash, as the vampire jumped up and hovered in the air for a second with his feet going in circles before taking off.

VAMPIRE: (in Ganon voice) YOU MUST DIE!

The vampire stopped at the Hex Girls' drum set and a couple of guitar cases, and then took off again. The guitar cases popped open as Shaggy and Scooby-Doo jumped out shaped to fit in the cases, then ran off in their normal forms again. By now the vampire was sick of chasing these two, and went on to chasing Fred, Daphne and Velma. The three mystery solvers split up into different doorways, and the vampire went through the door Velma went through. He found Velma outside, flying a bat-shaped kite. Velma then turned to the vampire…

VELMA: (in Morshu's voice from "Faces of Evil") You want it? (hands kite string to vampire and runs off)

The vampire looked confused for a second, but then smiled as he enjoyed flying the kite. But then a bolt of lightning from the above thunderstorm, which was still raging strongly, struck the kite string, and an explosion occurred when the electricity hit the vampire.

Meanwhile, though the rain had stopped, there was still thunder and lightning, and Caillou was still scared. Luckily, his dad managed to find him in the closet…

CAILLOU'S DAD: There you are! Why are you hiding in the closet?

CAILLOU: (clutching Gilbert nervously) I don't like storms, daddy!

CAILLOU'S DAD: Yes, I know.

Then Caillou's dad took him downstairs into the kitchen to make him feel better. The power was still out throughout the castle. The kitchen actually looked rather modern too, in such an old castle. Caillou's mother and his baby sister, Rosie, were now awake, and were setting up candles, even though this didn't have much to do with finding the vampire. But Rosie was blowing on the candles and laughing…

CAILLOU'S MOM: Rosie, don't blow out the candles, sweetie. We need them to see.

But Rosie didn't listen, and she blew harder and the candles went out, and once again everything was pitch black except for Caillou's eyes.

CAILLOU'S DAD: Oops!

CAILLOU: Aaaah!

CAILLOU'S DAD: Oh no, my, my candle is out! I'm sure the flashlights were right here, somewhere…

CAILLOU: Daddy…

More lightning flashed outside as the thunder continued booming loudly throughout the castle. But Caillou's father managed to find the flashlights, and he shone one below his face, making him look vaguely scary.

CAILLOU'S DAD: (in Ganon voice) You will DIE!

CAILLOU: Aaah!

Caillou then shortly realized it wasn't the vampire, and that they were safe… for now. And now with more light in the kitchen, Caillou and his dad decided to have some hot chocolate, as Gilbert slurped some milk from his drinking bowl.

CAILLOU'S DAD: Thunderstorms make a lot of noise, don't they?

Caillou nodded, but then heard the wind from outside whistling and gasped.

CAILLOU'S DAD: It's only the wind, Caillou. (shuts the window, silencing the wind) I'll shut the window. (closes the curtains)

Caillou moved his chair closer to his dad to feel more secure…

NARRATOR: Caillou was glad his daddy closed the curtains. But he was still feeling a little scared…

Caillou was the only one still feeling a little scared. The Mystery Inc. gang was now outside in a cemetery located right outside the castle, apparently trying to hide from the vampire…

FRED: There's no need to worry. We left the vampire in the castle. We're completely safe out here!

Of course, Fred was proved wrong, as a menacing shadow loomed over Fred, and then lightning flashed with a rather loud thunder crack that sounded similar to a gunshot. Back in the castle, Caillou heard the thunder strike, and shrieked and huddled toward his dad as the vampire's evil laughter could be heard outside followed by another thunderclap.

CAILLOU: Daddy, make it go away!

CAILLOU'S DAD: Let's both try to make it go away.

CAILLOU: How?

CAILLOU'S DAD: When I was a boy, storms scared me too. But Grandma taught me the Counting Game. Do you want me to show you how it works?

Caillou nodded, but Dr. Robotnik happened to also be in the castle for the night and he had a second opinion…

ROBOTNIK: NO!

CAILLOU'S DAD: (ignoring Robotnik) When the lightning flashes, we start to count. Then, when the thunder BOOMS, we stop. (he says "BOOMS" in a slow-motion voice) It'll make it go away.

Meanwhile in the castle library, Daphne and Velma were looking up about vampires as an attempt to save Fred, who had mysteriously vanished for some reason, as well as Caillou and his family…

DAPHNE: It says here that it's legendary for a vampire to come out of his coffin once a year in search of his long lost bride. How romantic… in a sick, vampire-ey kind of way.

Outside, lightning flashed once again, but this time no thunder immediately followed it. Caillou and his dad, both still in the kitchen, began counting…

CAILLOU'S DAD: One…

BOTH: Two… three…

Two thunderclaps then boomed above the castle, the first one louder than the second.

CAILLOU'S DAD: Now, next time we count, we'll reach a higher number, and that means the storm is moving away.

CAILLOU: It does? If I count quickly, will it go away faster?

LINK: (pops in out of nowhere) Yeah!

While Caillou, his dad, and Link from the Zelda games, left the kitchen, with Caillou already feeling better, near the balcony on the second floor, Velma had dressed up Daphne in a white bridal dress as an attempt to lure the vampire. They heard growling from outside, signaling he vampire was near…

VELMA: It's him! Now get out there and strut your stuff. (pushes Daphne outside onto the balcony)

Daphne stood on the balcony, and gasped as a bat fluttered past. At the same time, Caillou was back in the room he was sleeping in earlier, which now had more light in it from the family's attempt to bring more light into the castle from the power failure. Caillou was now his usual chipper self again…

CAILLOU: Will it go "boom" again?

CAILLOU'S DAD: (chuckles) Yes Caillou, it'll boom again. (lightning flashes outside)

CAILLOU: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…

However, as Caillou was counting, nearby on the balcony, Daphne suddenly noticed the vampire right behind her! Thunder crashed, as Caillou enjoyed the boom, not aware of what was happening to Daphne…

DAPHNE: The net! Velma!

CAILLOU: I counted to seven!

As Daphne ran for the door, only to find it was locked, the vampire began walking right towards her, as Caillou's voice could still be heard clearly from the next room…

CAILLOU: Last time, I only counted to five. It works! The storm IS going away!

Then as the vampire loomed even closer to Daphne, Fred appeared in the shadows from behind a tower. At that moment, a bolt of lightning streaked the sky as the loudest thunderclap of them all pierced the air, rocking the whole castle! As Fred leaped down, the loud thunder caused Rosie to start crying as she clutched onto her mom's leg. Caillou and his family, now outside apparently trying to defeat the vampire, along with Caillou's friend Leo, ran for a small cavern to avoid getting struck by lightning, as Rosie continued bawling almost as loud as the thunder. In the cavern, Caillou's mom explained to him and Leo why Rosie was crying, but for some reason now she was speaking in Spanish…

CAILLOU'S MOM: (translated from Spanish) Rosie's scared of the thunder. Ear-raping, isn't it?

Shortly afterward, the thunder and lightning had ended, and the rain had completely stopped and there was no longer a cloud in the sky. It appeared that there were two twin brothers dressed up as the vampire, and stood next to Velma, all tied up, as the Sheriff from earlier had come to arrest them, having taken his time from trying to catch the rabbit gangsters Bunny and Claude. The two men no longer had their makeup on, and of course they had to say to the Mystery Inc. gang…

TWIN MEN: (in unison) And it would've worked if it weren't for you meddling kids!

SHERIFF: Say that again.

TWIN MEN: (in unison) And it would've worked if it weren't for you meddling kids!

The sheriff was obviously annoyed how lately, all crooks the Mystery Inc. gang had recently caught always had to parody the classic "meddling kids" phrase in some way. But now that the two brothers were being taken away, and that the storm was gone, things were back to normal. Caillou and his family were now all sleeping in the parlor room, with a fire roaring in the fireplace. A while later into the night, the TV suddenly came on, showing the Hex Girls performing the theme song to "What's New, Scooby-Doo," waking up Caillou.

HEX GIRLS: (singing on TV): What's new Scooby-Doo, they're coming after you…

CAILLOU: Huh?

NARRATOR: Caillou was startled awake by the sound of the television. But he really wanted to continue camping out in front of the fireplace.

As the Hex Girls continued performing the song on TV, Caillou got up and walked over to it, as his dad woke up from sleeping on the couch.

CAILLOU'S DAD: The power's back on.

CAILLOU: (shuts off TV) Can we still sleep here tonight, daddy?

CAILLOU'S DAD: Sure we can. Good night, Caillou.

In the next room, Dusk of the Hex Girls leaned over to Scooby-Doo, whom hadn't done a single thing throughout the mystery, and kissed him in the style of a classic Looney Tunes character with a loud squeaky smooch, ending with a "pop!"

SCOOBY-DOO: Scooby-dooby-doooo! Ee-HEE-hee-hee-hee! (slurps Dusk)

Then the story ended, and the late 1960s Warner Bros.-Seven Arts cartoon closing logo and music came up, but the "OO" in "A WARNER BROS.- SEVEN ARTS CARTOON" bounced up and down nine times instead of the usual THREE.

THE END


End file.
